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Category Archives: motherhood

no one puts baby in a crack house

– except us apparently.

Given we have a child, it’s probably time to address the indisputable fact that, from the front at least, our place looks like a crack house.  I don’t know why having a baby means you feel the need to have a cuter house, but you do.  Call it a strange hormonal side-effect, or just feeling weird entering what looks like a former drug den (because uh, it is) with our new million dollar Bugaboo yuppie stroller (I joke, but that thing rocks – thanks Geoff and Powell , best gift EVER), but the exterior of my house is depressing me.

Truth be told, Sam actually likes it this way as he sees it as a free security system.  He’s right, I suppose, but we (ok, I) can only live like this for so long.  I want a pretty house!  Well, at least not a crack house.

Up to this point I have avoided posting any photos of the front of house as I’ve just been plain embarrassed.

But ok, deep breath…
here you go:

Pretty bad right?

‘Curb Appeal’ is still a mystical notion we have yet to get a handle on.

Making it worse, we live in a neighbourhood and city of very cute wood shingled, brightly coloured homes.

via Property Guys (was going to take my own photo, but that would mean leaving the house – not that easy these days, plus it’s raining)

Yes, many of them used to be derelict and as sketchy as ours, but we’re rapidly becoming the worst house on the street.  Yikes.

So, ideally, we would like to pull off this god-awful vinyl siding and replace it with cedar shingles.  Unfortunately, we really should replace the windows first, but that’s not going to happen anytime soon, so we’re pretty much stuck with the siding for a while. Plus, there’s nothing actually wrong with it, unless you count the level of embarrassment I feel every time I have  to explain to people that we live in the ‘mint green’ house.

At least I no longer have to say ‘the house with the mailbox falling off’ as my sisters finally replaced the mailboxes for me when they came to visit.  But I do come from a long line of embarrassing house monikers, as my childhood home used to be identified as ‘the house with the Christmas lights up all year round’.  Ah yes, procrastination, you are genetic…

Obviously, paint seemed like the solution.  I got beyond excited picking a colour scheme and settled on grey with yellow doors and white trim.  No one was that enthused, but yellow is what the doors should be according to feng shui (yeah I know, but it narrowed the choices), and grey seemed like a good choice for a house that is not, and never will be ‘cute’, but could be what you might call ‘handsome’.  And imagine a window box with some red flowers.  You with me?

Sam was a hard sell until we started watching Casino, and Robert DeNiro was sporting the same colour scheme:

house colour inspiration? why not!

This is when you press pause and go ‘SEE? It can work!’  And voila, Sam was on side.

Here’s a few other better (but less fun) examples:

via Holly Smith Interiors

via fric and frac

via PeaHen Pad

Now, ideally I wanted the dark grey as above, but with a slightly softer, less acid yellow.  I got totally carried away and collected about a million colour cards (it’s like my new hobby) until I finally talked to someone at Benjamin Moore who told me that, actually, you can’t paint vinyl siding a darker shade than it already is as it will absorb more heat from the sun and then warp.  Shit.  Cue deflating balloon.

So I could go white, or really pale grey, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that as merely getting dressed and having a shower is a challenge these days, painting the front of the house is just not going to happen.  And it’s definitely not going to happen if the colour is a boring compromise.  Let’s be realistic (for once).

Project ‘I don’t want to live in a crack house’ take two…

Stuck with the mint green siding, and feeling that I might actually find the time to paint the doors, I started thinking differently  – what about blue?  This image was the inspiration that pulled me from my despair:

via design-vox

Back for more colour samples:

We’re deciding between Benjamin Moore’s Staffordshire Blue and CIL’s Arctic Night – neither of which I can find on-line.  Annoying.  And they look completely different in the photo above than they do beside me here on the couch.  Imagine them darker like in the ‘inspiration’ image above.

Anyway, this is all the fun part.  First I have to actually tackle the door trim which is, oh boy, a little desperate, and more than a little overwhelming:

Fun times ahead…

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