home reno TV drinking games (or why the bathroom isn’t finished yet)

Right – well, absolutely nothing got done over the past few days due to having the kind of fun that takes some recovery time, otherwise known as a Beer Fest.  We went to super cute Moncton and hung out with our friend Steve of Beau’s Brewery fame, pretending that we too worked as Ontario Craft Brewers, and handing out samples to thousands of thirsty New Brunswickers.

You may think that none of this has anything to do with renovating, and while you’d be right, it does lead me nicely into presenting my two favourite vices: drinking and home renovation television programs.  In the UK this was usually 4Homes, and back here in Canada it gets really dangerous as there’s an entire channel called HGTV (Home and Garden TV) devoted to renovation/property shows 24/7.

So what could be better than a home renovation show drinking game?  Or, to put it another way, rather than get annoyed at the ridiculous formats and formulaic premises and actually have to stop watching (inconceivable), why not have fun with it?

The worst offenders are probably the desire for (yawn) stainless steel appliances and granite countertops.  You could probably get plastered just drinking whenever those are mentioned. And it is bizarre – would you really not buy a home because of a fridge?  Were avocado appliances and Formica countertops so obsessed over in the 70’s?  Oh the unanswered questions of real estate…

In any case, pour yourself your favourite tipple, and join me every time someone mentions the following of my renovation show pet peeves:

1. stainless steel appliances

2. granite countertops

3. ‘blank canvas’

4. ‘put our mark/stamp on it’

5. ‘needs updating’

6. man cave

7. anything about their children falling down stairs or over railings

I usually max out at 7 as these are more than enough for reno-related inebriation to set in.

Anyone got any more?

– and if you just can’t get enough, here’s another pretty hilarious site specifically for ‘This Old House’ related drinking: http://www.fred.net/turtle/souse.shtml